Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
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