I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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