Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize