I'm sorry my penis didn't work
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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