Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
a search helicopter?!
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
