That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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