I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You may now shotgun with the bride
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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