we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
dude. I can hear the air.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
