me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
