Soap is not a condiment
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
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