i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize