I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm always down for nudity.
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