im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
