I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
