you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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