Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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