Where did you get a picture of my penis
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
