Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
