I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
my being single is dangerous.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize