I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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