never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
