i don't plan on having that self control this summer
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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