Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
