Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
