yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
