Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
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I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
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Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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