Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
