idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
