I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
