i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
handjob tips. give me some.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
