WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize