Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
