did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
