Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
