windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
