highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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