How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
