you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
