Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
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I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
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New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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