my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
