Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
