I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize