Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
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