K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
