pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
