I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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