I never want to see another naked old woman again.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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