Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
