One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
