I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
