Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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