Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
