I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
