just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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